View from the Front Porch: Lessons learned with each decade
View from the Front Porch: Lessons learned with each decade
“Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many.”
-Author Unknown
As I get ready to turn 60 this month, I’ve been looking back on my life, realizing that each decade taught me a profound life lesson. Here is one from each.
As an only child, I learned early on how to be alone. Whether or not that is good or bad doesn’t matter. What DOES matter is what I learned from it. I spent hours playing in my room and my backyard, making up stories with my Barbie Dolls, pretending to be a famous actress or CEO of a company. This alone time taught me how to enjoy my own company and thrive without having to always be entertained. On the flip side, my neighborhood friends were a huge part of my childhood. These beautiful people became my life long friends and taught me more about love and acceptance than anyone has since.
In my teen years I found my voice. My mentor during this time was my Speech Coach, Mr. Fahey or Uncle Bob as most students called him. He was a World War Two Vet full of stories from the years he spent fighting in France. Uncle Bob wasn’t the warm and fuzzy type, rather he told you exactly how it was. He took a shy, soft spoken young girl and turned me into a young woman who found her voice and used it. Under his direction I took first place in State and went on to place in Nationals. I also ended with the lead role in every play I tried out for including a professional touring group when I was sixteen. I am who I am today, in large part because of what I learned from this time in my life.
My twenties began with me as a student at Northwest and ended with me pregnant with my second child. In between was a mix of working hard to earn my degree, too much partying, finding the love of my life, working at a career I loved, getting married and having two children. By the end of this decade life was humming along perfectly until my Dad died. That loss changed me forever.
The middle. My thirties were my happy place. My kids were young, I was young, my Mom was young. Looking back though I didn’t appreciate any of that the way I would now. Life was so carefree, playing with kids at the park, going to the pool, playing make believe, going on adventures, going on vacations, taking long walks with my Mama. All the things I took for granted.
In my forties life took an unexpected turn. All the happiness from my 30’s went out the window and I was faced with a not so great reality. However, it was during these dark times that my Faith grew in ways I didn’t even know it needed to. It’s the decade where I became BRAVE. I learned the importance of never taking what I have for granted. I learned humility, what true love looked like and never, ever to give up hope.
More growth was coming in my 50’s in ways I never imagined. Yes, I was older but still taking time for granted. I thought my Mom would always be healthy and here for me. I thought I would be young forever. I thought my kids would do things differently than they did. Yet, here I was…realizing that my loved ones were going on without me, my sweet Mama needed me now more than ever and my own body wasn’t working quite the way I wanted it to. The lesson I learned during this time was never to take your life, your situation, your loved ones for granted. Status and money and the house I lived in didn’t matter. It is the PEOPLE that make a life worth living.
So here I am, on the cusp of turning another year older, realizing that while every decade took something from me, I was also handed something even better: imagination, courage, true love, joy, faith and gratitude. I will walk into my sixties with a full heart, knowing that what truly matters in this life is my faith, my family and being content with the simple joys of just living.
Leslie Ackman is a former writer of The Forum and currently a local business owner.
