Pearls: Back when I was a kid…

EDITORIAL MUG: Matt Pearl

My children have, at least on an occasion or two, asked me to tell them a story from when I was growing up. I think my wife might agree that I possess the gift of embellishment, or maybe I’m just good at making things sound more interesting, than they actually were. Regardless, my kids like my tales from the 1980s and 1990s, so I give the people what they want.

Most of them are pretty humdrum, in my mind. They ask me what toys I played with the most, and I recall names of my He-Man figures and the Transformers I would convert from vehicles to robots, and back to vehicles again.

Television is an experience that has changed dramatically from my childhood to the present. I had scheduled programming – set times and channels that demanded I be present and tuned in, or that episode of Thundercats would be one that I would just have to miss for the day.

For my kids, regular TV is almost completely gone. They pull up YouTube and watch a video of their choice, or they hit one of the handful of subscription services we have and watch 2-3 episodes of a show we have all seen 1,000 times.

Now, to be fair, if I could have watched G.I. Joe or Masters of the Universe episode-after-episode back in 1984, I definitely would have done so. But I couldn’t. He-Man episodes were on Channel 62 out of Kansas City, and my dad had to perform rabbit-ear antenna miracles to put the show before my eyes – at 6:30 a.m. on weekdays. My kids, if you are reading this, I’m not lying: your dad’s favorite show before the school day in first grade came on at 6:30 – no DVR, no subscription service, no guide to take me to another showing.

I remember the pedal brakes on my first bike, and wearing tube socks with my shorts in the summer. How many afternoons have I wiped the sweat out of my face and waited for the next pitch during a game of Wiffle Ball? Too many to count.

My stories generally stay on the narrow path of entertaining, but I seldom tell the more serious ones upon my kids’ requests. There were dark moments – my mother’s life being threatened by an adult case of rheumatic fever, for example. I remember moving around to different schools during that time, and it seemed like a coin flip whether I would be accepted and happy in a new school, or if I would struggle to make friends.

Lots of kids had darker stories than mine, and I’m thankful for the many positive experiences this life has shown me. Even the tough lessons learned from time to time.

Like when I grabbed my sister’s hair and ripped out a handful That is the only time I was legitimately concerned that my mother might literally end my life. I might have only been about three years old – maybe four – but that look in her eyes remains seared into my mind to this day.

I remember driving my poor mom crazy, playing over-and-over again the 45 rpm single Believe it or Not, the theme song from my favorite TV show, The Greatest American Hero. I still love that song.

When my kids ask if I ever got my behind spanked as a kid, I say Yes. I have the kind of parents that left it as the very last resort but were not afraid to use a well placed swat as the reset button, as I have grown to call it, when needed. But the evening always ended with a hug, and those mean old parents who had spanked me sent me to bed feeling happy and loved.

So when it comes right down to it, I enjoy it when the kids ask for a story – not because my life has been so interesting compared with other folks’ experiences. No, I like to tell those tales because it gives me an excuse to relive a childhood that is far different from the ones my kids are living. They enjoy hearing about my growing up, and I couldn’t embellish it with any more flair if I tried.

Matt Pearl owns and operates The Tri-County Ledger.