Pearls: Balance is the answer
EDITORIAL MUG: Matt Pearl
I am far from impartial when it comes to my children. I think they’re great. In fact I’m downright sure that they’re the best.
But…
There have been several occasions this summer for me to have them in the newspaper office with me while I am trying to work. Trying became the operative word in that scenario. They’re good, they’re sweet and they’re a lot of fun.
They’re also loud. They’re excitable. They’re full of questions. They’re kids.
When you’re the boss, you can give yourself permission to bring your kiddos to work with you. If you do this too often, I can say you might be tempted to fire yourself.
The experience has been a good reminder for me to practice a little separation in terms of my family and professional life. When you run a family business, the the family is going to be there some of the time, and that is fine.
But when too many office visits go by and my kids hear me tell them, Later – I’m working right now, it takes a toll on the quality of our time together. On the other hand, if I stop and cater to every question or snack request from my children, I would never get much done while they were with me at the office.
If there’s a single theme to this column – and I’ve been writing it for almost exactly 13 years, since I took over writing A Wondering Mind from my father, and later changed the title to Pearls – it is the idea of balance. I believe in moderation and balance in politics, in our individual (and collective) temperaments, in our spending – in everything.
That being said, it is often easier – as is the case of mixing family and work – to keep one obligation in one corner, and the next obligation in the opposite corner. How can my kids get what they need when I’m having to work first in the office setting? And how can I give my career the right attention when my kiddos – the centers of my world – are asking for my time?
There’s a reason work and home have been historically separated, in other words.
At the same time, we saw in the wake of the recent pandemic a major shift to put the two back together. We saw many, many folks heading home to work, and many have never returned to the office setting since. Broadband internet, computers and smartphones have turned home into an extension of the office, and in many cases a replacement for the office setting.
That’s not an altogether bad thing, but like most changes in our society and behaviors, it comes with a price. Children require dedicated time from their parents: between the phone and the computer, are they getting it?
Related question: have you ever had to ask your child to repeat what he or she had just said, because your phone distracted you the first time those words were spoken? I have.
Technology is allowing us more smoothly to transition between work and shopping and home and entertainment, and again, that’s not an altogether bad thing. There are three of those obligations I can just about cover completely from my phone. It’s home that requires the entire me, undistracted by digital devices, unencumbered by notifications or messages on my phone or tablet.
As for having kids a the office, I guess things are what they are. Sometimes they’ll have to be a bit bored, or they’ll have to realize that work needs to happen at my office schedule. That’s fair, and it’s not a bad lesson for them to learn.
In return for their understanding, however, I need to work to make home a place where the office isn’t welcome, where my primary work is that of being a husband and father. That, my friends, is balance – and we know how I feel about balance.
Matt Pearl owns and operates newspapers The Tri-County Ledger
