Column: Crunchy noodles and comparisons
Kortney Mayne The Bridge
Anyone who knows me well, knows that I’m not a cook. My disasters in the kitchen are tales my children love to laugh about at family dinners. Anytime I try a new recipe, they cross their fingers because they know there’s a 50 percent chance that it won’t work out.
This Christmas I tried to step out of my box and make a nice lunch for my friends. I knew it was risky, but I took the chance. I spent hours preparing for my lunch and baking the perfect lasagna. Imagine my dismay when my friends cut into their lasagna, and the noodles crunched!
I know that I’m not a great cook and my kitchen fails are frequent. But I tried to play the role of chef, when perhaps that isn’t the role I was meant to take on. My friends’ teeth suffered through an incredibly crunchy lunch as the result!
One of the easiest traps to fall into is wanting to be in a role that was never meant for us. It’s human nature to compare ourselves with others and wonder why we can’t have what they have. Why can’t we do what they do? We may even think others don’t deserve the things they have, and we deserve them more.
The fastest way to kill something special in our lives is to start comparing it with someone else’s life.
Comparison is the thief of joy. It robs us of flourishing in our own lives and roles because we are so busy wishing we had someone else’s. But we weren’t meant to walk someone else’s journey. God made us specifically and uniquely for our own journey.
Psalm 73 is a great reminder of this truth. The writer is feeling down because he has his eyes on the world around him instead of God. He can’t figure out why others seem to be doing so well, especially when they aren’t doing the right things. He struggles with this comparison until verse 16 and 17. He says, “When I tried to understand all this, it troubled me deeply till I entered the sanctuary of God …” After spending time with God, his heart changed. He began to praise God instead of being angry about things that were out of his control.
He spent so much time worrying about others that he let them have his joy. But when he began to focus on God, his joy turned to praise.
King Saul is perhaps the greatest cautionary tale we can find about guarding against comparisons. David was loyally serving under Saul. As David served him, he found favor with God and had many successes. But what Saul couldn’t see is that David’s success was helping their common goal of building the kingdom. David would succeed Saul, but it didn’t have to be so soon or so violent. David was committed to Saul.
However, others soon began to compare the two men. 1 Samuel 18 tells us that people sang songs about how Saul was great, but David was greater. Verse 9 says that “from that time on, Saul kept a close eye on David.” In fact, Saul began to obsess over him. He spent so much time worrying about David’s identity that he lost his own. This comparison ended up costing Saul his kingdom and his life.
What can we do when we struggle with comparisons? We can take a lesson from the Psalmist and redirect our focus. Whatever we give our time and attention to is the way our lives will drift. Instead of spending our time fretting over others and what they may or may not have, we would be better served by focusing on God. What has God done for me? What journey has he given me? What role has God given me that I am uniquely created to do? Instead of asking God for more, can I praise him for what I already have?
As we turn our minds to these things, comparisons don’t seem nearly as important. In fact, instead of surrendering our joy over worrying about others, we gain joy because we notice our own blessings.
The Psalmist who was so worried about others? In 73:26 he says, “My flesh and heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” Nothing in his life changed, but he found joy because his focus changed.
The next time you’re tempted to compare your life to others, remember Saul. Remember the Psalmist. Changing your focus is a choice that’s in your control. Praising God is a choice you can make anytime. It’s a choice that comes with so many more rewards than living our lives trying to be someone we’re not. Take it from the crunchy noodle queen!
