COLUMN: A positive self-regard
SKYE POURNAZARI/THE FORUM
Pastor Joel Whiteside First Presbyterian Church
I believe there is moral and spiritual failure at the root of a negative self-disregard. We are familiar with the need to treat others with respect and an honest appreciation of the good that is in them or the good that is possible in them. Many people are less likely to apply that same ethical standard to themselves. It is a sin to run yourself down.
Sadly, religion has become warped when it obsesses with human frailty and sin, rather than affirming the inherent dignity and worth of our humanity. There is this sickening false piety that wallows in human helplessness and spiritual wreckage. Religion is not the effort to win God’s favor by making God feel sorry for us.
Much of this world’s troubles and conflicts arise from an unhappy self-regard. People cannot think highly of others because they cannot think highly of themselves. People cause hurt to others when they are hurting inside. A lot of that hurt is self-generated when anger and frustration is turned inward. So many just can’t help beating themselves up. Faith in God is learning how to quit.
The First Commandment declares that we should have no other gods before God. A negative self-regard thrives on disobeying that commandment. When we stand up against ourselves to render judgment regarding who we are, calculating the devastation of our regrets and reliving our worst moments, we are displacing God’s loving, forgiving and affirming light with the harsh, critical light of our own fears and doubts. Who is our God? Our God is loving, forgiving, empowering and engaged with our well being. What kind of God have we replaced our God with when we run ourselves down? Just let God be God. God would never say the terrible things so often people say to themselves. God would never hold the dire opinions of us that we so often express toward ourselves.
In one of his prayers, King David pours out a heart full of gratitude for this God who has chosen him and his people. This experience is uplifting as seen in verse 17, in chapter 17, of 1st Chronicles:
“And even this was a small thing in your sight, O God; you have also spoken of your servant’s house for a great while to come. You regard me as someone of high rank, O Lord God!” (NRSV)
One thing about David: He always maintained this connection to the God of Israel. What he learned through all the ups and downs of this life is God lifts us up to the full stature of what it means to be chosen by God and made in God’s image.
We can rise up to the challenges of the day. We don’t need to shrink down into the pit of fear and doubt. You know, we may not always come out a winner, and we surely will stumble from time to time. I make a jerk out of myself about once a day. But the world will see God’s power in us when we rise back up, when we learn from our mistakes and are able to forgive ourselves and others.
God sees David as someone who has value and worth. This is not a truth confined to David. It is a truth about an honest, vital and living faith. We need to draw the meaning of these words into our own heart — You regard ME as someone of high rank, O Lord God! Because God does, maybe we can too.
