Technology isn’t solely to blame

Kaity Holtman

As I’ve discussed before, there are a lot of pressures put on young mothers in today’s world, mostly because of social media.

There are conflicting opinions on every single decision we have to make. I mean every. single. decision.

From the breastfeeding-versus-formula debate to co-sleeping, and even how long to let them use a pacifier. It can be absolutely exhausting to weigh it all.

The most recent battle we’ve found ourselves in is the technology argument, and it has started with television.

Should he watch TV?

How much TV time is too much?

What is ok for him to watch?

We don’t have a tablet for him to play on, and I have no games on my phone. The extent of his smartphone usage is to video calls with grandma and phone calls on speaker phone with Dad, and the occasional Snapchat filter fun.

But he watches cartoons.

No he’s not glued to the TV all day, but yes, he enjoys a variety of cartoons.

Sometimes it’s because this pregnant momma is exhausted, and sometimes it’s because I have to get some stuff done.

Sometimes it’s because there is a new animated movie on Netflix I want to see, and I like to use him as an excuse to watch it.

And then I go read a blog post online, and some perfect mom is there telling me that TV is not meant to be a distraction and to quit being so lazy. Then some other person comments that kids watching TV is the reason “kids these days” are so terrible.

And then I feel guilty and avoid TV until I find myself in the same situation I was in when I needed a break. Then I break down and turn it on but only allow one episode because I don’t want to be the worst mom in the world.

Ok, time out. This is ridiculous.

I’m going to go ahead and stop right there.

All of these people are telling me that TV and technology are solely to blame for kids being lazy and unsocial and a long list of terrible things?

One thing I’ve learned in the last couple years is that I have to take all of these opinions with a grain of salt, a little level-headed perspective.

They want to tell me that all the blame goes to technology?

I’m going to disagree.

It is not all the fault of technology. Technology can be used for a lot of really great things.

But I think it’s about mindfulness on the parents’ end. I try to be mindful about turning off the TV and switching to reading books. I ask questions about the shows he watches to keep him interacting.

Sometimes. Then sometimes, I let Mickey be his friend and I leave the room for 10 minutes. Because that’s normal, and I’m not perfect

“Our generation,” meaning the millennial generation that my husband and I belong to grew up watching TV. And when I watch an episode of Mad Men set in the 1960s, I see those kids watching TV too.

We’re not the first generation to watch TV, but our generation has had easier access to not only TV, but to phones and tablets. But I see a big divide within even our generation. Yes, we grew up watching TV, but we also turned it off to do work, to spend time with family and people.

The adults in our lives made sure we had a limit.

So I’m trying to use them as an example for what I want to do. I believe there is a healthy balance between total dependency on technology and a normal amount to keep him up to date with how his generation is learning.

But I won’t give all the blame to the technology itself.

It is addictive, yes. But shouldn’t we as parents have control over their access and limitations?

That doesn’t mean it comes without objections from them. But that is how parenting works, right?

So I know I’m a walking contradiction when I allow cartoons but don’t want to distract them with a phone at a restaurant. But in my mind, that’s how I am setting limitations.

And another parent can justify different decisions the way I justify mine.

But hopefully, we’ll turn out a generation of kids of which we can be proud. We’ll try, just like every generation before us.

Kaity Holtman is the Agriculture Editor for the Maryville Daily Forum.