Unpopular opinions

Tom Pinney

If you’ve read my column in the past few weeks, you’ll know that I haven’t made a whole lot of friends lately with my most recent posts talking about our President and Charlottesville. While some of you agree with me, others are vocally opposed to every word I say.

But I have only ever wanted to foster a discussion about things that people don’t like to discuss, and I still very much want to do that.

So in this piece, I’m going to share with you a few unpopular opinions I have. If you’re interested in talking with me about any of the opinions here or any others I’ve written about, here’s my shameless self-promotional plug to connect with my professional Facebook page (not my personal one), www.facebook.com/mrtompinney.

Are you ready? Cool. Here we go.

Unpopular Opinion #1: The finale of How I Met Your Mother is one of the best-written and most clever sitcom finales ever.

Before you lash out at such heresy, here’s why I love it (spoilers, obviously).

In the seventh season premiere, as Robin and Ted talk about their individual love lives, Robin mentions to Ted that two things have to come together to make a situation between two people perfect for a relationship: chemistry and timing. Throughout the series, Robin and Ted had perfect chemistry, but the timing was never right.

In the second season, Ted wanted to get married while Robin did not. In the middle of the seventh season, Robin wasn’t totally convinced she loved Ted, in addition to the fact that she had just broken up with a serious boyfriend. Plus, she never wanted to have kids, and we found out she couldn’t.

In the finale, we find that, after Robin divorced Barney, she was ready for something long-term, and above the fact that she had started to come around on being a mom (even if not biologically), she still loved Ted. But it was bad timing: he was married to Tracy, who was, for all intents and purposes, perfect for Ted.

But then Tracy passed away, and Ted waited six years to do anything about it because he was still in mourning. But right there, in 2030, the timing and chemistry lined up, and something so imperfect before became perfect.

Tracy’s death also perfectly sets up the entire series, because why would he tell his kids such a long story if not for his own closure? Watch it through that lens, and it makes the whole series come together so beautifully.

I have a hundred other reasons, but I only have so many inches and need to get to a few more opinions.

Unpopular Opinion #2: Ketchup is the worst condiment in existence.

I can feel your hatred, and I’m writing this two days before it’s published. I know, we live in a world that includes mustard and sauerkraut (and I agree, both of those are just nasty) and I’m sitting here saying ketchup is the worst condiment.

I put Miracle Whip on my burger, dip my fries in ranch, and eat my hot dogs with cheese. Me and ketchup just disagree with each other.

I’m starting to taste ketchup and get grossed out, so let’s move on.

Unpopular Opinion #3: I don’t like cats.

This one is a bit of a tit-for-tat, though, because cats seem to hate me. I have never met a cat that ever treated me with anything less than contempt.

I house-sat for a friend once, and they had cats that were pretty independent, which was cool. But they also just hated me. They hissed when I fed them, attacked me while I slept, and watched me clean their litter box with utter contempt.

Even when their owner came back and I hung out with them at their house, those cats looked like they wanted me dead. I think it’s because they know I’m a dog person.

Unpopular Opinion #4: I think country music is awful.

This one comes with a caveat: current country music – the Luke Bryan, FLA-GA Line, James Aldean variety – is awful.

When I was younger, I fell in love with the lyricism of Alabama, George Strait, Garth Brooks, Tim McGraw, Colin Raye, and the like. But at the turn of the century, country became pop, but with twangy guitars and people whose hands are too soft to have ever worked on a farm singing about working on a farm. And yes, Brad Paisley, I’m looking directly at you.

Give me some Merle Haggard or Vince Gill any day of the week. But if it’s Blake Shelton or Keith Urban, no thank you.

Unpopular Opinion #5: I love the Dallas Cowboys.

… I know, it was nice knowing all of you too, and I completely understand you shutting me out of your lives.

Here’s the thing: it’s not that I don’t like the Chiefs. I was just born and raised a Cowboys fan, and being a fan of two football teams is like being a member of two competing religions: it takes way too much time and effort to keep up with both, and some of the beliefs contradict each other, so it’s best to stay a fan of one of those teams.

That’s actually why I’m a fan of the Royals; when I first moved here in 2013, I needed to become a fan of a Missouri sports team, and I chose the Royals because I could not, EVER, bring myself to root for the Cardinals.

And then, within a year, the Royals were in the World Series, and the following year, they won, so … you’re welcome …

So, there you have it. These are, by far, the most unpopular opinions I have, backed up by the reasons I have them.

If you’re still here, it’s good to know I’m not alone in believing these things. But don’t worry; eventually you’ll find something we disagree on … including the fact that I went out of my way to make sure I ended that last sentence on a preposition.

Tom Pinney is a news reporter for the Maryville Daily Forum.