Not all skills translate — directly

Matt Pearl

Years ago in my bachelor years, I went on a date with a girl who wanted me to teach her how to play tennis.

I treated the event like I am told actors approach an audition: when the casting director asks if you can play guitar, ride a horse, or whatever, you say, “Of course.”

I owned a tennis racket. I owned a can of tennis balls. Those items represented the full extent of my skills on the court. But I might be meeting someone special, right?

So I said I’d do it.

I then rehearsed in my mind everything about rules and scoring from the unit we did in my high school phys-ed class.

I instructed, I gave it a shot and I think I made a pretty good impression.

But at the end of the day, despite any improvising, educating, and showing of gusto on my part, the scene on that tennis court could only be described as follows:

One fool that didn’t play tennis pretended to understand the game to impress another fool who didn’t know the difference.

Humbling, yes. Flattering, no.

To either of us.

But my experience on that ridiculous date, a waste of time for two people with other talents and dreams, reminds me of the occasional individual vying for political office — a person without a clue, but possessing the self-confidence to sell himself/herself to the American people.

Yes, I mean Trump. I’ll get to Clinton later.

Before the day I faked my way through tennis lessons to get a girl’s attention, I had accomplished many things. I was a successful teacher and basketball coach. I contributed to the family business as a writer and photographer. There were areas of knowledge where I held a great deal of expertise — but my vanity convinced me that I could be an impressive tennis player/instructor with minimal preparation and no talent.

Such is Trump, a dreamer and doer, a builder, buyer and seller of things. Anyone who questions (or has questioned) President Obama’s professional experience before entering his current office is likely to get on board the Trump train.

But real estate, casinos, land development, etc. — are these the professional qualifications that prepare a man to be President of the United States? Is Hillary more qualified?

Sure. She also has her name attached to several scandals, and retains her public persona of being cold, stilted, and inaccessible. For many, Ms. Clinton is easy not to like.

She possesses the qualities of experience, but her opponents would argue about how quality her experience has been.

Tying things back to our opening story, I feel like Donald Trump is a manufacturer of tennis balls, rackets, nets, and court surfaces: because he has taken a hand in building the athletic facility, he is ready to declare himself a master competitor in the sport.

And Hillary really knows how to play tennis like a pro, but seems to be suspected of (metaphorically) using non-regulation equipment, lying about the score, or doping to get the advantage.

I guess it beats Bernie, who in the same metaphor is just wildly swinging his racket from side to side, or your Ted Cruz types — you know, the guy trying to be team captain when the rest of the squad can’t stand him.

In a retrospective view of my life, being honest and saying, “Sorry, I’m no kind of tennis player — what else do you like to do?” might have served me better then.

But if the American people would learn to quit taking lessons in politics from slick salespeople and truth dodgers, we might have a better choice or two this November.