School meal rules draw fire

Matt Pearl

It seems every letter of ink dedicated to remarking upon school lunches becomes either a lengthy nutrition lecture or an anti-Michelle Obama rant. I intend to do neither.

My argument, at least to my reasoning, is one that dwells in the realm of common sense. Consider:

Public school districts have been forced to uphold numerous guidelines that have made school lunch unappealing to many young folks, all at the bidding of the federal government, which, of course, subsidizes school meal programs.

Some of the changes reflect an emphasis on carbohydrates and virtual elimination of fat — which research has begun to indicate might be the modern on-ramp to risk of Type II diabetes, a completely preventable, soon-to-be rampant condition among Americans.

That aside, my beef with the entire situation is, “How can students, parents, school cooks and officials, and entire communities agree on what foods kids should be eating — and all be denied what they want because Uncle Sam doesn’t agree?”

Are you keeping score? Your school belongs to you, and the government never forgets that on tax day. But for breakfast and lunch at that same school every weekday, the fed gets to decide what your kids eat.

School cooks can’t retaliate, like we said, the lunches are funded with the help of federal subsidies.

That’s insane to me. A community has a school. The school serves meals. Don’t you think said community should have control over what food is put before their young learners?

And here’s the kicker: as guidelines force these lunches and portion sizes to change, it’s reasonable to believe more and more kids will bring their lunch. I wonder how the federal government is going to handle that — will we see meal-checkers at the cafeteria door, opening lunch boxes and doling out unqualified nutritional advice?

If you bring a Snickers bar in your sack lunch, will they toss it out because of its fat and sugar content? Better start putting the low fat mayonnaise on your ham sandwich — these guys are professionals.

The stupidity of it is enormous. If you went door-to-door anywhere in straight-thinking rural America and asked folks if they observed the school lunch guidelines in their own home cooking, many of them would laugh in your face.

Thank goodness a government of the people, by the people and for the people can let a handful of people decide what the rest should have for breakfast and lunch.

Your tax dollars well spent, America.

As for our schools, their hands are tied, and there’s really not much they can do. If they one day said they were going to raise local taxes a little bit and start serving whatever the cooks wanted to fix, I think I’d probably support the measure. It’s hard to watch these school lunch preparers trying to feed so many kids — and being told how much fat to the gram that a student can have in a single meal.

What a waste of resources. You lunch ladies have my sympathy. In the meanwhile, kids, enjoy your five chicken nuggets and carton of skim milk.

Just thank your government for looking out for you.