Remember ‘Grandpa’s Rule’ when posting to Facebook

Matt Pearl

My mother’s greatest worry from my childhood proved often to be a completely warranted fear:

She lived in constant dread that I would say something embarrassing or offensive in front of others. Man, did I make a prophet out of her sometimes.

Thinking before we speak at one point applied mainly to our face-to-face conversations with one another. In the heat of a discussion, we risk putting the proverbial foot into the mouth. I’m still guilty of this one from time to time.

Then the world changed a little bit. Digital communication came along, and it made us better connected. It gave us the freedom to speak instantly with those who are far away from us, or with whom we had few face-to-face encounters.

Email, instant messaging and social media brought a flourishing time in human interaction. Distance is no issue. Cost is generally not a limiting factor. We have the power and freedom to speak about virtually anything, at any time, to anyone.

And then, the world showed us that all changes are not for the good.

As the years pass, I think those working in the field of psychology will find a term that appropriately identifies how uncharacteristically brave we become when emptying the contents of our brains into a social network message.

My word of caution: I’ve never known Facebook to build character in any individual; but it reveals the character of every single posting user.

I hear Grandma Pearl’s voice saying, “Fools’ names and fools’ faces are always found in public places.” It doesn’t get more public than social media, folks. But the idea of being the fool bothered me.

But I’ve done it. I’ve been the one that started the political argument, and I’ve been the one who was called out by others. I can’t help but think that without my social media accounts, pretty much none of that would have happened in the first place.

I doubt the great minds that worked to develop the wonderful technology that connects us in such flawless and profound ways intended instant messaging and social media to be used in some of the negative ways we use them.

Not a week goes by when we don’t see an example of such technology being abused. I do not criticize those who begin or comment upon issues affecting others — the freedom of speech gives us great leeway when it comes to expressing our opinions.

Always, however, it is incumbent upon us, the users of said social media, to post with one important thought in mind: What we post in our name reveals the character behind that very name.

Life demands difficult truths be told at times. But how often does life demand such truths be revealed for general public consumption? Most of the time our words — be they kind or critical — have an appropriate time and place where they should be spoken.

How about we give conversation a try? It sure used to work for people, I’m told.

My rule is the Grandpa Rule. My mother’s father uses social media. I imagine how poor Grandma’s face would grow red with embarrassment if Grandpa read her something inappropriate that I had written on Facebook.

In other words: If you wouldn’t say it to Grandma, don’t write it on your status update.