Christmas just isn’t the same

Gary Darling

I look around this year and I see everyone getting ready for Christmas but something feels different.

For me, it stems from the loss of my mother.

It is hard to find the joy I used to have for the season because of how much of that joy included her in some way through visits and/or gifts.

My mom loved Christmas and she passed that love of the season onto me.

That is until this year.

I just can’t seem to find the joy of Christmas in my heart. Oh, I see it in the eyes of my kids but on the inside all I have is sadness.

I can’t help but look at the presents under the tree and realize that my mom didn’t send any of those this year.

She loved to spoil the kids and she won’t be doing that anymore.

Also, I know that on Christmas day, when I make the regular holiday phone call, her voice won’t be the one on the other side of the line.

It just doesn’t seem fair sometimes when I see families out having a good time and I am stuck in my sadness.

Now I know that she is in a better place away from the pain of her illness. I understand that.

But I can’t for the life of me stop feeling that somehow I have been robbed. That it isn’t fair that I am without my mom while others continue to enjoy that relationship.

Selfish? You’re darn right it is.

My mom was my best friend and I miss her terribly and the holidays only amplify it ten-fold.

Now, I am not looking for sympathy, nor do I need you to feel sorry for me. I do enough of that for all of us.

I want you, the reader of this column, to enjoy your family during this holiday season.

It is important to do it every year.

And you know what, while you are at it, why not enjoy your family every day? Don’t take for granted that you are going to have your entire family forever.

I did that and am now left with remorse and a feeling of guilt for not cherishing every moment.

Put aside your petty differences that were brought up in anger. Bury the hatchet and renew the love you used to have for those you are now embattled with.

You will thank me later and it will make your heart whole again.

So that is my Christmas wish for all those out there who have a division in your household. I want you to become whole again.

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On a lighter note, I just want to pass on a heartfelt thank you from all of us at Laura Street Baptist Church to those who came out and made our Living Nativity a fun-filled success.

Seeing you all out there warmed my heart and it was a magical time, for me, to enjoy our entire community.

It was a wonderful distraction for me to see all the smiling faces and I am grateful to have been a part of it.

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In closing, I just want to wish all of you a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. I hope that you all have a lovely holiday season filled with peace, joy, and happiness.

And, also, that you get all the presents you could hope to enjoy.

God Bless you all and I look forward to 2015 together.