In the quiet moments
Kaity Holtman
One evening last week, I was looking through paint chips trying to decide what color to paint my bedroom.
I came across this one called “Quiet Moments.” It was a little darker shade of a color I was thinking of on a pastel blue-green strip of colors.
I gave a little thought to how “paint people” come up with names for their colors and considered the color for a bit.
Then I moved on to other colors and left it aside.
The next morning, Sam decided he wanted to get up at 4:30 a.m.
He usually sleeps from 8 or 8:30 p.m. to 6 or 7 a.m., depending if I have to wake him up or if I can let him sleep in.
Normally my weekday alarm goes off at 5 a.m. (and 5:05 and 5:10…), so 4:30 didn’t really seem that early.
And he wasn’t upset. He was perfectly happy. But it was obvious through the baby monitor camera that he was wide awake. He was sitting up, standing up, waiting for someone to come get him out of his crib.
So I went in to get him, and he just put his head on my shoulder and we just rocked in the chair for the next 30 minutes.
He never said a word or made a noise. We shared a few little grins, but mostly we just lay there and snuggled.
In the quiet moments, we just enjoyed our time together.
That’s right, the quiet moments.
And while it felt dark around me, the paint color suddenly made sense. Serene, lighthearted, perfect.
I didn’t care that I knew I would pay for the early morning later in the day.
Since Sam sleeps through the night, I haven’t had middle-of-the-night snuggles in months.
Which I’m more than ok with; I love my sleep, especially at 22 weeks pregnant.
But that early-morning time with him before the world started spinning again was exactly what this momma’s heart needed.
He decided he wanted to go back to bed when daddy’s alarm went off at 5 a.m., which worked out great for us to get ready.
Plus, the fact that he went back to bed made the whole thing feel like he wanted it to be our little secret. It has been warming my heart for days since it happened.
I’ve been feeling rather introspective over the last few weeks.
Sometimes my mind shifts to how I can impact the community and to my work and volunteer positions.
But lately, I’ve been very focused on my role at home and how I can be the best mom, wife, and me I can be for my family and myself.
Maybe it’s the fact that we’re trying to figure out this whole second-child thing. Maybe it’s the new house going up quickly, along with the moving process.
Whatever it is, it’s had me incredibly focused – and prioritized – on my personal life.
And I find that it’s in the quiet moments that I can do that best.
The hustle and bustle of life is great for the other side of my life. But the quiet moments are practically required to feel like I can grasp all that God is calling me to do and be for my family.
Quiet moments seem to grow evermore important the older I get. I feel like I become less attracted to constantly busy lifestyle and more in need of time to slow down. I need more time to savor the moments, and sometimes more time to get everything done without missing those moments.
For me, it’s in the quiet moments that I can focus my eyes on God, and remember priorities of faith and family over everything else.
My work is important, and all the hustle and bustle lets us all accomplish big things.
I watched the movie “The Shack” again over the weekend, and I remember the person who played God saying, “if anything is important, everything is important.”
I see a lot of truth in that.
But for me, at this moment in my life, the quiet moments seem to be the most important for me, giving me time to be introspective and reflective on how I want our life to go.
These quiet moments usually come when we least expect them and when we need them most. But the challenge can be actually having our hearts open and ready for such moments.
May your week have the quiet moments you need at this point in your life.
Kaity Holtman is the Agriculture Editor for the Maryville Daily Forum.
