Feeling thankful, right on cue

Kaity Holtman

This time of year is when society tells us we should start being thankful.

And while I think we should be thankful all year long, there is something about the beautiful fall scenery and lists of Christmas gifts to buy that does remind me just how good we have it.

Of course this year I’m most thankful for our son, Sam. I mean, over-the-moon thankful for every single moment.

He is definitely our best adventure yet.

But actually, as I think back, a wild-card item on my “I’m thankful for…” list is actually the time and struggle we endured before getting Sam.

My four November columns last year focused on our infertility journey. It’s hard to believe how fast time has moved since I wrote those columns.

Looking back, those three and a half years are still the most challenging we’ve ever faced, individually and together.

But, still, looking back, those three and a half years are something I’m now thankful for. And when we were at the darkest moments of that journey, if anyone would have told me I’d look back and appreciate those moments, I would have been so mad at them.

While I’m thankful every minute of every day to be on this side of that struggle, that journey provided us a lot of opportunities.

We grew stronger in our marriage.

We spent time, one-on-one, taking trips and enjoying experiences we won’t get much time for in the near future.

We filled our time with things we wouldn’t have time for now.

We grew up – well, somewhat.

We had many – many – lessons about learning to give up control.

We took time to delve deeper into our faith and appreciate how God was working in our lives.

We needed that journey to fully appreciate this one.

Now when I say that, I by no means think that people who haven’t experienced infertility don’t appreciate their child. Absolutely not what I mean.

But for us, for Matt and me, individually and together, we needed it.

And God knew that. Of course he did. It was all part of his plan.

We needed to have our hearts prepared for this leg of our journey.

I may have been mad at Him, or upset with Him; I may have questioned and doubted Him multiple times.

But now I see how he was weaving every moment of our lives the entire time.

And that is something I said all along, but now I have experienced it.

For that, I am incredibly thankful.

It’s easy to forget where we came from when we look at him smiling or sleeping. But I’ll never forget that journey and how it has impacted every aspect of our lives.

We’re so excited for our future, and to see how God works in it.

And while I’m sure we’ll have more moments where we question why God does what he does.

But my goodness am I thankful that I have Him to take my worries and fears and turn them into blessings bigger than I could ever imagine.

And for those blessings, I promise to continue to be thankful.