Remember these road legends?

Jim Fall

Continuing to think about Missouri vacations, and about “Being from Missouri, if ….”

How about remembering the classic Burma Shave signs that used to line out highways from border to border, whichever way you were going?

For the younger generation, who might not have heard of, much less seen “originals,” they were five small red signs with white letters, about 100 feet apart, each containing one line of a four- line couplet … and the obligatory Burma Shave (a popular shaving cream) logo.

Most were very clever, to wit:

HARDLY A DRIVER

IS NOW ALIVE

WHO PASSED ON A HILL

AT 75

Or this one,

DON’T STICK YOUR ELBOW

OUT SO FAR

IT MAY GO HOME

IN ANOTHER CAR

A favorite was,

BROTHER SPEEDER

LET’S REHEARSE

ALL TOGETHER

GOOD MORNING, NURSE

How about?

AROUND THE CURVE

LICKETY-SPLIT

BEAUTIFUL CAR

WASN’T IT?

A real warning:

SPEED WAS HIGH

WEATHER WAS NOT

TIRES WERE THIN

X MARKS THE SPOT

And a little public service,

PASSING SCHOOL ZONE

TAKE IT SLOW

LET OUR LITTLE

SHAVERS GROW

Ever see this one?

A GUY WHO DRIVES

A CAR WIDE OPEN

IS NOT THINKIN’

HE’S JUST HOPIN’

One of several in this theme,

CAR IN DITCH

DRIVER IN TREE

THE MOON WAS FULL

AND SO WAS HE

Does this ring true?

DROVE TOO LONG

DRIVER SNOOZING

WHAT HAPPENED NEXT

IS NOT AMUSING

And reading Burma Shave signs was undoubtedly a safer distraction than today’s texting.