Off the Cobb: The mysterious case of the Dewey Street squirrel

My mom lives in the vicinity of North Dewey Street and because of this, I have been witness to the strange goings-on with the squirrels in that neck of the woods.

There are red squirrels and black ones, even an occasional white one.

There are red-faced, white tailed, sort of calico squirrels and all matter of combinations and color schemes.

To say that the population of stockpilers in that neighborhood is prolific is to say the least.

Maybe no place on Earth do different colors live in such harmony than among the squirrels on North Dewey Street, but that’s not what this particular story is about.

What has yet to be confirmed is that some of the squirrels may very well walk on two feet.

But what I can say I’ve never seen — until now, and now only in the accompanying photograph — is a squirrel with false teeth.

That’s right. A resident of North Dewey, George Gumm, brought the photo into the office this week. 

How he got it is another story.

It seems his neighbor — and George clearly told me not to use Bill Baker’s name, so we won’t be naming names — but his neighbor recently went about misplacing his false teeth. 

Well, he didn’t so much as misplace them. He knew exactly where he left them.

It seems Mr. Baker was doing some work in his garage and set the teeth squarely in a safe place on his workbench.

Baker remembered, as per usual, to leave the garage door open just a bit, but what he forgot is to retrieve the false teeth from the workbench. 

When he returned to fetch the choppers … they were gone.

Next thing you know, Gumm shows up with photographic evidence of the culprit.

Phil Cobb is the owner and publisher of The Maryville Forum and The Post.